MFK: A Game of Thrones Edition
I have to say, I'm surprised by the number of people who would like to Fuck Jaime Lannister. I guess we all love a bad boy. Just remember, he's married to me, but I can share with a fellow Wench!
Check after the jump to see our choices.
Guest Wench Serena, from the fabulous Kissed by Fire blog
Marry: Davos Seaworth. He might be a safe choice, sure, but when the going gets tough, at least he would be able to find us some food. Gawds, I am so transparent.
Fuck: Jaime Lannister. But only if it's some rabid, angry hate sex and he calls me Brienne. EXCUSE ME, I MEAN "WENCH".
Kill: Tyrion Lannister. He's had one too many lucky breaks, and eventually that has to catch up to him. But more so, he needs to be put out of his misery after the events of A Storm of Swords and A Dance with Dragons. As for a particular method, I don't have a preference, although maybe he can make himself useful as some dental floss for Daenerys's dragons. Don't want those teeth getting dull and worn down, do we? Answer: No, we don't.
Check out Serena's fantastic blogsite for all the latest news about A Game of Thrones.
Marry: Khal Drogo. The savage warlord proved to be a sensitive husband and lover despite his fearsome behavior with his men.
Fuck: Jaime Lannister. He is an exceptionally skilled swordsman... and I am also under the influence of tv show casting for this one.
Kill: I contemplated a few options, but in the end I have to choose Catelyn Stark. I think she makes bad decisions, she has responsibility for Ned’s death, she starts a war that causes more deaths in her family, and she hates Jon Snow. She is too arrogant, and it looks as if her sense of vengeance is the only thing leading her.
Marry: Khal Drogo. Not only is he a gorgeous hunk of man, fierce protector, and strong leader, but he has a sensitive side! He turned out to be a wonderful husband to Daenerys.
Fuck: Jaime Lannister. And that's purely because of show casting and Wench Angela's assurances that I will completely change my mind about him after book 3. Because so far he's on my Kill list in the show, and I will be FOREVER creeped out by the ending of season 1's pilot episode.
Kill: What a long line of contestants for this category!! I would have to go with Joffrey and Cersei at this point. Slowly and painfully, in ways that I'd have to hide my eyes from actually viewing.
BFF: I'd like to add this category, because I would love to be Tyrion's friend and just hang out with him. He is by far my favorite character on the show. Wit, wisdom, and he knows how to treat the ladies! He's my alternate choice for Fuck, but I'd really rather have him as a long-term best friend!
Marry: Khal Drogo. He was a brute and a warrior, but he did yield to Daenerys when she proved her metal...and I would as well.
Fuck: Tyrion!!! I am dying to know how he gets all the girls in a tizzy.... Must be a talented man, hee hee hee.
Kill: That little snot-nosed, punk-ass Joffrey. He deserves a HUGE ass whooping and needs to be taught a good lesson. Let me at him! Although I must say Cersei was a close second. Disgusting little tramp that she is!
Marry: Jon Snow. Obviously.
Fuck: Tyrion. I almost picked Jaime because he's pretty. But I think Tyrion would be a really interesting experience.
Kill: Cersei. It's time for that bitch to die!
Guest Wench Julie
Marry: Jon Snow
Fuck: Daario Naheris.
Kill: Ramsey Snow/Bolton. Because he needs to go.
Anne Kenzie's Bro (because we wanted a man's perspective)
Fuck: Daenerys. Although I almost picked Brienne, because I think she'd appreciate it more.
Marry: Robb Stark. I don't know why...this was tough. But I really love him (and Richard Madden is DREAMY!).
Fuck: Jaime fucking Lannister. Need I even explain why? And FYI, he can keep the beard.;)
Kill: Hmmm.... I know everyone will go with Joffrey...understandably so. And there are so many people I want to kill.... I'm going to go with Theon Greyjoy!
Marry: Sandor (see below).
Fuck: Jaime. (Funny, I'm much less angry with him since I saw who was playing him on the show. I've read only the first two books so far, so I can't say if he'll move up higher in my estimation.)
Kill: Joffrey. (Sandor rips off his head and throws his body to the direwolves to eat. The direwolves start to tear his body to shreds, but find him too disgusting to eat and vomit on his corpse. Sandor mounts his head on a pike, and the carrion pick his eyes out. Then they poop on his head.)
Special Mention: Cersei. At first, I was going to choose her for the kill, but that's too easy for her. I want her to Suffer. A. Lot. Did you see the movie Ever After? The Queen and evil stepsister were punished by being sentenced to spend the rest of their lives as servants. They were assigned to the royal laundry and got their comeuppance by being knocked into a huge vat of blue dye. That's what I want for Cersei, lots of servitude and humiliation.
Marry: Jon Snow. I just love this guy.
Fuck: Jaime Lannister. I know sex with Jaime would be so much fun. And not only fun. *ahem*
Kill: You cruel, obnoxious, little SOB, I've been dreaming of doing this since the moment I lay eyes on you, Joffrey Baratheon.
Marry: Is anyone surprised that of course I say Jaime Lannister? You forgot I was already married to him, right?
Fuck: Sandor. I think he just needs some loving. He is completely misunderstood, and anyone who sticks up for Sansa is a winner in my book. Plus I love an underdog. No pun intended.
Kill: Very hard to narrow down to one person. The spider Varys. Tortured in the dungeons, because simply being poisoned would be too good for him. He has played many characters to his own tune, and they don't even realise it. Tricky, sneaky, manipulative Varys. Watch out, as he is one of the deadliest players in this game.
You might be wondering who some of these characters are or why we picked them. Some of us are fans of the books as well as the show, and those who have read the later books have the advantage of knowing what is to come ― but we've tried not to spoil you. But here's a tease, because I can't resist! If you haven't read past the first two books, you can look forward to the delight of being introduced to Daario. His description still makes me smirk. However, I understand the television show is not taking the same path as the books with his appearance, so you miss that particular delight unless you read the books. So. Read. The. Books. They are always better.
So who would you MFK from A Game of Thrones? Are your choices similar to ours, or do you have someone completely different in mind? I love gruesome Kill descriptions, so sound off below. So far, I think Donna wins the prize for the most detailed and inventive death of a character. So see if you can do better than her! ;)
* Gifs from www.tumblr.com.