You Can't Always Get What You Want.

Marry, Fuck, Kill

As it often happens in books series, especially those wonderful ones that enthrall you completely, characters stir strong feelings in you. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative, sometimes meh. It frustrates me to no end when there's a character I can't stand that the author insists on keeping around (they know their story better of course, but I can't help the way I feel), and sometimes it's overwhelming how much you can adore a character. Or, in some cases, just how attracted you are to one.

Of course, it blows that you'll never really be able to fulfill all these fantasies when it comes to these characters. So here's a little game the Wenches have participated in.  Just for fun, who would you Marry, Fuck, Kill in Chloe Neill's brilliant Chicagoland Vampires series? A game where the rules don't matter and every character is fair game! After much deliberation (and being pretty much forced to make choices), let us take a look at the Wenches' picks!! 

Marry : Jonah
Fuck : Catcher
Kill : This is hard one. I can think of a few people I'd kill in that series. But, I think I'm going to go for an unconventional choice....Ethan.
I know he's the hero of the series, and we just got him back. But, he's never really been my favorite and when he was gone I was looking forward to an unconventional UF series, where a heroine has two great loves. I still want that. Rarely in real life, do we have just one love in our lives.

Marry : Jonah
Fuck : Catcher
Kill : Mallory x 1000

Marry: Ethan (Duh! Master Sullivan can make me swoon for eternity.)
Fuck: Jonah (I may not want Jonah anywhere near Merit, but I bet he is amazing in bed. And he'd make a great partner, too.)
Kill: Darius (Celina would have been my first choice, but since she is no longer a problem, I decided I want to take out a current problem. Who really deserves it!)

Marry : Ethan... that's two for one for me... the M and the F (see what I just did *wink*)
Fuck : Luc....I had my eye on a certain shameless flirter but among other things he's a bit too young for me plus I love Luc's attitude and I bet he has a sassy attitude in bed too, rawr.
Kill: Celina... There are couple of characters I would like to take out but I ended up choosing Celina because she did the unspeakable thing to my future book-hubby even though Merit beat me to it *high five Merit*

Marry : Jonah
Fuck : Tate
Kill : Morgan

Marry : Ethan
Fuck : Jonah
Kill : Tate

Marry : Ethan
Fuck : Jonah
Kill : Celina
I used to think F was Catcher, but not no mo. Asshat.
There's a line of characters I wouldn't mind killing.

Marry: Chuck Merit
Fuck: Gabriel Keene! The Alpha.  What can I say "Gabriel was tall, broad shoulders, intensely masculine...His confidence was obvious in the bearing of his shoulders, the swagger of his step..This was a man who'd proven all he needed to prove...!"
Kill: Frank Cabot for being an asshole!!!
I know there are more, but he made me sssssssssooooo angry!

Marry: I know everyone will choose Ethan and I would too, but just to be different I'll pick Gabriel. And I love kids, and Ethan couldn't give 'em to me
Fuck: Duh! I love my men with experience, and who has had more of that than Ethan Fucking Sullivan!
Kill: Does it have to be just one? Then Mallory.

Marry: Ethan (Duh, who else would I pick? An eternity with Ethan would be just enough time for me to get my fill)
Fuck : Gabriel, I was going to pick someone else, but honestly, I would kill for a chance to be with that very impressive alpha. Just hearing all the great stuff he says and the profound addresses to his pack gets me SO hot. I LOVE a man with presence.
Kill: This may be a little unconventional, but I'd kill off Catcher.  I would pick Mallory, but that would hurt Merit too much. So Catcher. Haven't been able to stand the ass in a while.

Well those were the Wenches' choices, it was a tough one since I think most of us (not all) wanted to pick Ethan for Marry AND Fuck (DUH!). What do you think of our picks? Who would your picks be??? Is it someone we haven't mentioned? Or did we cover the popular picks? Or have we just confused you? I know it took me longer than it should have to make my choices. Feel free to let us know in the comments below! Ciao!


  1. This is really funny. Love this game.

  2. I've got to be different!

    I'm not surprised by how many of you chose Ethan. I am surprised how many picked Jonah though!

    1. Jonah is fiiiiiine. If it weren't for Gabe I would have picked him too. But I just don't think he can ever replace Ethan in Merit's heart.

  3. Marry: Jonah (Ethan is Merit's)
    Fuck: Gabriel
    Kill: Merit's dad (I really don't like that bastard)

    1. Yup I really hate Mr.Merit too. But had to go with Catcher in the end hehe.

    2. You know, I hated Joshua for a long time. But the last time I read them I noticed things that make me feel like there is stuff going on that we don't really understand (we only learned about the first Caroline in Hard Bitten!). If he was truly evil and hated Merit, Chuck would not love him and try to bridge the gap for his son and granddaughter. I've made so many mistakes, seeing people through our heroine's eyes (hello, Barrons!) that I am reserving judgment on Joshua Merit.

  4. Saucy Wenches, I don't know you...but I love you. This is one of the best blog postings in the world of UF/PR I have ever seen. Thank you!!!

    1. Welcome Amanda!! and thank you for the awesome compliment! SO glad you enjoyed it!

      Feel free to browse the blog for other posts you might enjoy. We have tons of sauciness to share with everyone :) and many more Marry,Fuck,Kill posts to come in the future!

    2. Awww, thank you, Amanda! We love you too, just for visiting us! Look for more MFK posts to come. It is such a fun, saucy game!

  5. Marry: Ethan
    Fuck: Luc
    Kill: Darius or Frank Cabot. Really hate those two!

  6. Shit! I thought our picks would be anonymous. If you read this honey, just kidding. *shifty eyes

    1. Actually, we forced her to answer! She tried to get out of it, but we made her answer! ;)

    2. OMG LMAO!!! Donna, I was JUST thinking, "Can you tell that these responses were sent via private message?!"

    3. LOL!!! Donna I did not realize you thought that :p but we pretty much forced everyone so don't worry about it hehe

  7. Marry: Ethan
    Fuck: Seth Tate, Gabriel Keene and Malik. Yep. I want an orgy. :P
    Kill: Frank Cabot

    1. LOL! Gabe, Malik, Seth. Sounds like one hell of an orgy!

    2. Excellent choices! Just last night I was thinking I should have picked Malik instead of Jonah. That's okay, a girl has the right to change her mind whenever she likes!


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