Broken by Megan Hart

My name is different every month—Brandy, Honey, Amy…sometimes Joe doesn't even bother to ask—but he never fails to arouse me with his body, his mouth, his touch, no matter what I'm called or where he picks me up. The sex is always amazing, always leaves me itching for more in those long weeks until I see him again.
My real name is Sadie, and once a month over lunch Joe tells me about his latest conquest. But what Joe doesn't know is that, in my mind, I'm the star of every X-rated one-night stand he has revealed to me, or that I'm practically obsessed with our imaginary sex life. I know it's wrong. I know my husband wouldn't understand. But I can't stop. Not yet.

Broken is an erotic novel by Megan Hart. You may have seen it in a bookstore, found it from an internet search engine if you requested books to read after the phenomenon called Fifty Shades of Grey, or had it recommended by a likeminded internet friend.

First of all, Broken is much more than an erotic novel. Yes, there are lemons, and lots of them. I think "haunting," "beautiful," and "poignant" are more appropriate adjectives. It's the kind of book that stays with you long after you've turned the last page.

Keep reading after the jump




Broken begins with a hookup between Mary and Joe. Mary is an inexperienced young woman who has never gone to bed with a man, and she's chosen a stranger named Joe to lose her virginity to. Once the deed is done, and she "got it over with" she becomes very uncomfortable with the intimacy with a stranger and quickly leaves, leaving a bemused Joe behind. We then become aware that Joe is actually retelling this story to a friend. This friend who is not quite a friend. She is a acquaintenance who sits on the same bench as Joe once a month at lunchtime. The story, which is told from first person point-of-view, Mary's point-of-view, is done so because the woman, Sadie, has imagined herself as Mary.

"This was my role, disinterested observer, as his was playful rogue."

Slowly, we learn more about Sadie. In college, she meets a handsome graduate student, Adam, and they fall in love. At this point, I started to wonder what had happened. Why does Sadie meet Joe and listen to his stories? She seemed to have met the man of her dreams in Adam. Ms. Hart takes her time filling the reader in on pieces to the puzzle. A tragic accident leads to a paradigm shift in the life Sadie and Adam could have shared together. A successful career counseling others and a home life filled with sacrifice and servitude leaves Sadie as a very lonely woman. Her monthly interludes with Joe become an escape from reality she desperately needs. Gradually, Sadie becomes jealous of Joe's women, as she becomes more and more invested in her romantic feelings for him.

Sadie spends her life wearing a mask, both in her home life and in her professional life. Eventually, the mask begins to crack, after years of living with a husband who, although he loves her, is bitter, demanding and completely helpless. Resentment, frustration, guilt and anger are felt by both, as they erect walls as a defence against a cruel reality.

I have to say, this part of the story is heartbreaking. I can't imagine the guilt Sadie feels living vicariously through Joe's women, as he tells his tales of conquest. Adam, who's brain works perfectly fine, even if his body does not, is no idiot. He notices that Sadie spends a little more time on her appearance once a month. He halfheartedly confronts her about this, but really doesn't want to know the answer. I think it's perfectly human for Adam and Sadie to both love and hate each other. Tied to each other out of need, duty, obligation, their reality is far different than the expectations they had when they married.

"I know that life is full of precious and fragile things, and not all of them are pretty."

Broken is the kind of story that makes you question your own morality. Sadie's emotional infidelity could have been a dealbreaker for me, because deep down I disapproved of her actions. But I understand why she allowed herself to fall in love with Joe. Who am I to judge?

Of the many books I've read this year, Broken stands out as one of my favorites. If you knew how many books I've actually read, you'd realize this is high praise indeed. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and went back several times to reread certain passages. I did get a lump in my throat once or twice, although I'll never admit to ugly crying.

Megan Hart has written a number of other books, and while each can stand alone, some characters from one book can pop up in another. Chronologically, they are:

Dirty (2007)
Broken (2007)
Tempted (2008)
Everything Changes (novella)
Reason Enough (novella)
Stranger (2009)
Deeper (2009)
Switch (2009)
Naked (2009)
Collide (2011)
The Space Between Us (2012)

I've read several of these, and while Broken remains my favorite, I'll always be happy to cozy up with one of her books.

Megan, you're on my radar now.