On the Eleventh Day of Sauciness

My True Love Gave to Me:



Eleven Funny Sayings

Ten Kick-Ass Chicas

Nine Naughty Excerpts

Eight Most Wanted Novels

Seven Dreamy Kisses

Six Sexy Couples

Five Hot Book Boyfriends 

Four Supporting Characters 

Three Characters Cities 

Two Painful Endings

and

One Piece of Gandy Candy

David Gandy for Lucky Brand

















Who doesn't love a book that makes us not only smile, but laugh out loud?  We love banter, puns, and inappropriate humor. Check out 11 of our favorite funny quotes...

#1

Ilona Andrews - Magic Burns

“How about a view of my sword up very close?”  
“That’s my line, dove.”  ~ Kate Daniels and Bran


#2

Abigail Roux - Armed & Dangerous

“What about the animals?” Ty asked.  “Who the hell needs this many dogs anyway?”

“What’s wrong with being a pet owner?” Cameron asked.


“Yeah, you pronounced ‘hoarder’ wrong.”



#3


Karen Marie Moning - Iced

“Sloppy, Mega,” I mutter.  I still can’t see.  I wipe my bloody nose on my sleeve and reach out to feel what I hit.

“That’s my dick,” Ryodan says.


I snatch my hand away.  “Gah!”  I choke out.  I can feel my face again—because, like, it’s going up in flames.  What kind of universe makes me reach out at exactly that fecking level to feel what I think is a wall and puts my hand on a penis?



#4

J.R. Ward - Lover Enshrined

Xhex offered him her arm without looking at him because she knew he was too much of a pride-filled dickhead to lean on her otherwise.  And he needed to lean on her.  He was weak as shit.  

“I hate when you’re right,” he said.


“Which explains why you’re usually so short-tempered.” 
~Xhex and Rehvenge  


#5

Nalini Singh - Archangel's Blade

“Anyone,” he said in a quiet voice after ordering Jewel to shut up, “who wants to come out of this alive, get out and wait at the estate.

If you’d like to make me very happy, try to run.” 
~Dmitri


#6 

Ilona Andrews - Magic Strikes

"His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway.  And I'm not it."

"A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned.

I leaned back.  "'Can I fetch your food, Your Majesty?  Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty?  Can I pick out your fleas, Your Majesty?  Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty?  Can I..."

..."He's standing behind me, isn't he?"

"Technically it should be 'may I,'" Curran said..."Since you're asking permission."...


"To answer your question, yes, you may kiss my ass. Normally I prefer to maintain my personal space, but you're a Friend of the Pack and your services have proven useful once or twice. I strive to accommodate the wishes of persons friendly to my people. My only question is, would your kissing my ass be obeisance, grooming, or foreplay?" ~ Kate and Curran


#7

Jordan Castillo Price - Rebirth: Channeling Morpheus 5

”Uh-huh,” I said, without really digesting what he was getting at.  I was too busy reading the e-mail, then reading it again…

“…so that’s how I finally learned to suck myself off,” Bill was saying.
I looked up, blinked.
  

“And now that I have your attention.”  He cut his eyes to the mini-PC.  “Do I need to be jealous of that thing?  ‘Cos your heart just started going pit-a-pat about a million miles an hour.”


#8

Charlaine Harris - Dead Reckoning

“How’d the meeting with Victor go?” I asked.

“It would be a good thing if Victor met with an unfortunate accident.”

“You really mean that?”

“No. I really wish someone would kill him.”
~ Sookie and Pam


#9

Chloe Neill - Twice Bitten

“If we’re not playing naked Twister, we’re wasting our waking hours.” ~ Catcher


#10

Ethan Day - As You Are

Almost everyone had their shirts off by then, and the scent and sights of all the sweaty beefcake...I needed to beat the other team so I could run home and beat off. I was nearing delirium. I was literally panting and doing my best to make it seem like I was just out of breath. In addition, I was seriously cursing myself for having mom get me out of high school PE after two weeks. Oh, the things I must have missed.

Danny started snapping his fingers in my face, "Pay attention, fucker." Okay, that nearly made me come in my pants. "Sorry. I'm with ya."


#11

Jeaniene Frost - Destined for an Early Grave

“Then you remember the dream,” Mencheres stated.  “That bodes ill.”

The fear of that made my reply snappy.  “Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?”


“The shit’s gonna splatter, start buggin’, yo,” Mencheres responded instantly.


Comments

  1. Ok, Mencheres and Catcher made me laugh out loud. My dog is looking at me like I'm a nut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with ya, Anne, that Mencheres quote is my favorite funny quote EVER!

      Delete
  2. Three cheers for Mencheres!

    And I just read that Wild Bill scene last night. Loved it. Of course, it immediately made me think of Misha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, Veronica, there's a Supernatural reference everywhere! So, you are liking Channeling Morpheus? :-)

      Delete
  3. I love your post Amanda. My favourite is definitely the Magic Strikes one. Makes me laugh every single time I read it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Angela! That scene was awesome, and especially Curran's clever response.

      Delete

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