“I’ll leave it to you, Sassenach,” he said dryly, “to imagine what it feels like to arrive unexpectedly in the midst of a brothel, in possession of a verra large sausage.”
My imagination proved fully equal to this task, and I burst out laughing.
“God, I wish I could have seen you!” I said.
“Thank God ye didn’t!” he said fervently. A furious blush glowed on his cheekbones.
Ignoring remarks from the fascinated inmates, Jamie had made his way awkwardly through what he described, shuddering, as “tangles o’ bare limbs,” until he had spotted Fergus against one wall, regarding the intruder with a round-eyed astonishment.
Seizing upon this unexpected manifestation of maleness, Jamie had gripped the lad by the shoulder, and fervently implored him to show the way to the nearest exit, without loss of a moment.
“I could hear a hurly-burly breakin’ out in the hallway,” he explained, “and I kent they were in after me. I didna want to be having to fight for my life wi’ a lot of naked women getting in the way.”
“I can see that the prospect might be daunting,” I agreed, rubbing my upper lip. “But obviously he got you out.”
“Aye. He didna hesitate a moment, the dear lad. ‘This way, Monsieur!’ he says, and it was up the stair, and through a room, and out a window onto the roof, and awa’ wi’ us both.” Jamie cast a fond glance at his new employee.
“You know,” I observed, “there are some wives who wouldn’t believe one word of a story like that.”
Jamie's eyes opened wide in astonishment.
“They wouldna? Whyever not?”
“Possibly,” I said dryly, “because they aren’t married to you...”
~ Dragonfly in Amber, Diana Gabaldon