To Wish Impossible Things

Who doesn't love the dark and sexy Night Huntress world so brilliantly created by Wench favorite author, Jeaniene Frost? Combine that with our favorite game, MFK, and you're in for some Saucy fun! So we asked some of the resident Wenches, and some of our Wench friends, who they would marry, fuck, and kill given the chance. The rules are simple: every character is game and you can't pick the same character twice ;) just to make it a little harder for those who want to pick the same character for marry AND fuck. *Cue evil laugh* 


Are you ready for the Wenches' picks? Keep reading!

Guest Wench Ba:
Marry: I would totally marry Spade, as in being a dedicated wife or spouse and mother of his children, because besides all his sexiness and hotness like all the others, he's got that chivalrous and charming side that distinguishes him from the others.
Fuck: I would totally fuck Bones. (Duh! Who wouldn't?) No need for arguments in this IMO.
Yes.... Marie Leveau
Kill: I would totally kill Marie Leveau and Cat's mother both for being so annoying.

Guest Wench Care:
Marry: M is perpetually for Mencheres. I love Mencheres, and I love him hard.

Fuck: F is a toss-up. Bones and Spade.

Kill: K... I occasionally want to kill Tate, and Ian needs a swift kick in the ass most of the time, but hmm, a formal choice for kill? Gregor. And, oddly, Marie Leveau.
Guest Wench Jane:

Marry: Bones... Ummm, do I need a reason? He's a gorgeous, worldly, brilliant man who is basically sex walking. Oh, and he loves a sassy, strong, fair skinned redhead. So, IT'S MEANT TO BE.

Annette.. we don't like you.
Fuck: Spade. I would gladly get shagged upside down and backwards by this sophisticated, tall, dark and handsome fellow. Plus, I am a sucker (teehee) for a man with manners.

Kill: Annette, all the way. I detest women who elevate themselves by putting others down. I can imagine it would be hard to get over Bones, but that's no excuse for her behavior.

Guest Wench Inga:

Marry: Bones. He has shown himself to be a strong, passionate, loving, fun and loyal husband. Who wouldn't want that for all time?

Fuck: Vlad!! Sexy, funny, dangerous, annoyingly know-it-all. Sex on legs that I would LOVE to have between mine!

The Wenches want Bones... badly.
Kill: Tate. Hateful, irritating, boring Tate has to die.

Head Wench Barb:

Marry: Bones. Bones is my number one. I could go on and on. But I won't. In this post.

Fuck: Ian. I saw Ian through Cat's eyes the first time through the series, and was not a fan. However, the second time I read through, adding the World books, I was fully on team-Ian by "paybacks" in First Drop of Crimson. While I don't see Ian as the marrying kind, I am certain he would be a great time in the short run.

Kill: Justina. For her bitterness, bigotry, and the abuse of her child, Justina deserves a gruesome death. JF has managed to redeem other villains in this series, and I am sure she has plans for Cat's mother. For now, though, Justina needs to go.

Good riddance, Justina!
Wench Beta:

Marry: That's easy... BONES! 

Fuck: I was going to say Vlad, but then I thought that maybe I can save him for later... after all, he's got his own thing going on being the Night Prince and all. So I choose Spade, he's hot and yummie.

Kill: After some thinking, I've got my gun pointed at Cat's mom. Sorry about that Cat but wow she's fucked up, big time. Hopefully she'll be able to change my mind in the future though.

Wench Anne:

Marry: Bones. He is the perfect man. However, Vlad is a very VERY close second in this category.

Fuck: Ian, just once. I think it would be quite the experience.

Kill: This was a tough choice for me, but I'm going to go with Annette. I think she has outlived her usefulness. My second choice is Tate. I'm tired of him and his...undying love for Cat.
Mmmmmm... Ian.

Wench Donna:

Marry: I'll marry Bones if Cat doesn't mind sharing.

Fuck: That Ian is such a bad boy...

Kill: I can't stand Tate. He must die!

Tate's not too popular with the Wenches.

Wench Shau:
Marry: Bones...doh...who wouldn't?

Fuck: Bones...doh....who wouldn't? (ha) But Vlad...I just have a thing for the morally ambiguous one. *drool*

Kill: Tate. He REALLY gets on every nerve I have. I cannot stand the guy.

Wench Zee:
Marry : Bones, for sure. No other choice. Not even for a second.
Fuck : Spade. I have always had a serious thing for him. Add to that the shower scene from his novel and UHMUHGUH. (I would have picked Vlad, but Vlad is now from the Night Prince novels and that's a whole different round of MFK!)
Kill: Oh dear, I want to kill Cat sometimes... mainly because, sometimes, she annoys me and I think Bones can do way better. But I'm going to have to go for the woman I blame for her being screwed up, her mother. I don't think I'll ever get over all the horrible things she said to her own CHILD and the hatred for herself and others she tried to grow in Cat. 

Wench Kathi:

Marry: Um, Bones. Duh. Why is this even a question? If you need a list of his references, there’s chapter 32, and chapter 21, and several others. I’d like to help inspire a lot more chapters, he he.
So many great options.
Fuck: There are several characters vying for this spot. You could just blindfold me, line them up in front of me, and whichever one I stumbled into would be fine. But in lieu of that, I’ll choose Vlad. This time of year I always need warming up.
Kill: Honestly, it has been a while since I read these books and I had a hard time remembering who I'd want to kill. But a Wench mentioned Gregor and I literally shuddered, so it must be him. He was an especially despicable villain. I'm a firm believer that if a name makes me shudder long after I've forgotten exactly what its owner did, the author must have done a really good job with him! And I definitely need to kill him!

Wench Kat:

Marry: Bones. Chapter 32, enough said! But seriously, he is a male who knows who he wants and isn't afraid to let the world know how much he loves his woman. He is loyal, fearless, sweet and cheeky as hell, and his accent just undoes me!
I guess we are grateful Justina's hate kinda lead
 Cat to Bones. Also...yummy Alex.
Fuck: Vlad. He's dark and deadly and sexy as hell. He is ruthless and has a wry sense of humor that I adore. That and he can keep you warm all night! The only reason I wouldn't marry him is that I don't think he has escaped his dark past....yet.
Kill: That biyatch Justina!! Worst mother of the century award goes to her...although if truth be told, she was the one who got Cat and Bones together, in a round about way, but I just can't forgive her heartlessness!

And that's how it's done!

The Wenches almost unanimously want to marry Bones! Shocker, right? And we'd pretty much have a go at any of the other VERY hot vamps in the F category (also... shocking). Killing off Cat's mother seems to be popular too, what with her raising Cat to pretty much hate who and what she was. Now wasn't it fun wishing we could actually do all those things to/with all those characters? Who knows, maybe the UF/PNR gods are listening to our obsessive wishful thinking? Nothing wrong in dreaming, right?

What about you, Saucy readers? Who would you Marry, Fuck, Kill from Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress series? Anyone we may have forgotten about? Or do you agree with us for the most part? Share your thoughts below!

*all gifs from tumblr
*Special thanks to the lovely guest Wenches who took the time to participate!


  1. Wow, I'm surprised by all the Wenches that picked Spade. I can take him or leave him. I guess I'm the only one though!

    1. Me too, I mean, I like him and all but he's always been bland to me. *shrug*

  2. Hmmm. Not Ian fans for the long term, huh? I'll take him.
    Marry- Ian
    Fuck- Vlad
    Kill- Tate or Juan. I know Juan is a good guy but, his stereotypical way of speaking annoys the crap outta me. tbh, maybe I should blame Frost for that, thusly killing her? Naw. Then I'd never get to read that new series. Tate it is!

    1. We love Ian too Maggie, apparently we just like Spade a little more when forced to choose! I was saving Vlad for our Night Prince MFK :D

  3. Jennifer ChloeJaneJanuary 12, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Marry- I adore Spade. Chivalrous, sexy, romantic, wealthy nobleman... husband material.
    Fuck- Bones, because we know just how good he is at it. Mr. Yummy Pants
    Kill- As sucky as Justina is, I can't kill her because it would make Cat so sad and I love Cat. But I think we could definitely kill off Tate with minimal grieving cuz I'm so sick of his puppy-dog crap.

    1. Lol Mr.Yummy Pants indeed Jennifer! I think a lot of us are sick of Tate!


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