“Oh my god, Carl. It’s porn. This is unauthorized derriere porn! The Donut Holes are an unauthorized fan group, and now they have merch! Merch that exploits my backside! Carl, do something!” “Donut,” I said. “It’s enchanted. He’s wearing it because it helps him. You can’t even see it.” “How would you like it if someone was wearing a shirt featuring your butthole, Carl?” “I don’t stick my butthole in everybody’s face when they’re trying to sit down and eat.” “Well, excuse me for showing affection. I mean really.” ~ Matt Dinniman, This Inevitable Ruin ( Dungeon Crawler Carl #7)